Confidence and Money: How much is enough?

Confidence is Oxygen

You know, when you come from the bottom-of-the-bottom; when swimming against the tide becomes second nature and that, that, for many people ends up killing the desire to dream at all.

Dream. It sounds fickle and ‘cute’, but, many of our beloved—and gifted—peers ekasi walk around believing they ain’t shit!
That they aren’t worthy of anything. That o-t-h-e-r people deserve to have international holidays and not them.

It’s fascinating—in a disturbing fashion, of course—that after many years of growing up poverty-stricken, you gradually come to accept the situation (often engineered by other people, by the way; people love classes and “levels”, so they arrange the pecking order in a way that favours them. Watch yourself).

You then get scared of the things you really want, which you deserve, because they look ridiculous, as a result of the environment you were brought up in.

Here’s an example:

(A) Why is money such an uncomfortable topic?

(B) Why is a human being openly saying, “You know what, my writing skills are a superpower! A gift!” a problem?

Often, we struggle with handling people who proudly sing about themselves, “Mina ngiyashisa kaw’! “

(C) Well, I can go on and on about things that cripple us, but the two above are okay, for now.


Here’s a thought: It’s a huge problem when parents collectively earn R 6500, 00 per month, for instance, and have to raise five children and that becomes the angle from which you look at money and economics. When you get an opportunity to work on a project of sort, you cost it using the financial worldview you inherited from your folks.

Here’s another thought: With that sort of background, how much is too much to spend on anything? Example: I’ve observed it to be difficult for people to buy a (seemingly) simple item for a few thousand rands. It’s seen as a waste of money.

Flashback: I remember listening to one MoFlava on Y-FM, the breakfast show, and then he broached the topic (I am forever grateful that he did!) about every day allowances—How Much Do You Need to Survive Every Day?

As you can imagine, replies varied greatly; it was fascinating to hear when he called friends in the entertainment business, on-air, and they said how much it’d cost to go through a day. Others said they spend R 3000, 00; some were on R 5000, 00 or thereabout.


When you grow up poor, spending such amounts is evil. That’s a salary. How can it be spent in a day?
I gotta say that that chat by Mo’ was something I needed—although at the time I didn’t analyse it like I am now.

Confidence. Or a lack thereof.

Eish! Ke mathatha fela daideng!

The same way you’re made to be afraid of money and opportunity, there’ll be attempts made to scare you off having any ounce of self-confidence. To many, it’s evil when you can openly admit your own greatness.

Beats me. Saddens me.

Children are at the receiving end of this, because we drum it into their minds from an early age that they need to keep in line and not question anything.

My guess is, many self-assured people have been slapped with the words, “Inkinga ukuthi wazi yonk’ into; uyaspita!”

Or the variant, equally devastating, “Yeka uk’phapha tuuu!”

We damage brains, feelings (self-worth), we distort other people’s perspectives when we project our fears and failures onto them.

Now, that’s plain diabolical!

These (mental) limitations placed on you can be removed, inasmuch as we both know that at some point you were not afraid of anything.

I suppose what I am saying, put another way, is this: Work triply hard to recollect the person who once believed he knew everything and most crucially, rebuild the person who believes they deserve great things happen to them.