The fascinating part of it all is that the pithy yet gentle statement above holds true for both the good and positive things that happen in life, as well as in catastrophe.
When I was hard at work, some years ago, practicing writing, speaking and the techniques of delivering words eloquently, the effort applied was as important as the actual hours and eventually, years, spent honing the abilities.
Equally, when tragedy struck, as in when Dad passed on, picking up the pieces, healing and forging ahead with life required about the same patience, if not way more, to return to some form of normalcy. Well, in the case of having to live with a distorted reality for life, time did help with my making sense of and navigating the path ahead of me.
In love, as important as that ‘element’ is to life, time spent knowing a partner better is essential to building a solid, fun and enduring relationship. And of course, like most things, there comes a time when love quietens down or completely breaks down, and at that point, no amount of alcohol and rebound sex and blaming the other partner will mend the emotional and psychological effects of the break-up.
However hard it gets — Ahhh! Get your mind out’a the gutter! I meant the hardness of the entire situation; eish! There’s no fixing that one. Too hard a situation! — you just ought to keep it movin’. The journey, that is *childishly chuckles*.
Keep it movin’ or you’ll get chewed up by feelings of self pity that eat into your self confidence, which all end up breeding helplessness.
Deterioration is the worst pain to go through. It is super slow and inflicts prolonged pain. The process can take up years of your life and a few more years to shake it off and get back on the horse and live fully.
However hard it gets, you just gotta keep it movin’. Movement is man’s best friend — well, supposed to be man’s best ever ally. (Often, as you might as well know, we choose to get a place in the world, get real comfortable and then defend that corner come hell or high waters. Sad.)
I’ve learnt over more than a few setbacks in my life not to be scared of anything that exists and anyone walking the face of the earth. Each battle, each loss, each win, brings with it moments of knowledge, deeper experience and a sophisticated discerning ability.
That ever-so-humble yet confident and upright posture has and continues to help me keep calm under conditions of distress. “Look, nothing lasts forever; life is constant change — this, too, shall dissipate,” I’ll quietly whisper to myself from time to time.
Life gets better — or as we’ve established, far worse — with time.
It truly does.
But, it, from my own experience, needs your best effort applied into whatever direction you want your life to take, every single day, for any sort of results to materialise.
On the song, Sydney Loren Bennet — aka Syd — delivers her soothing words in a way that lets you know that she cares about she’s saying. I believe her (and this means that the content was delivered effectively; better yet, it’s the truth).
“Keep it up
I see you holding on
But it was easy, no?
Now you feel all alone
Quit praying, ease your pain
Gon’ be here either way
Nowhere to place the blame
So put your make up on and
Smile in the mirror
I want you to know,”
She croons on the second verse.
Place no blame on anything; acknowledge whoever wronged you and vice versa, and then take away some useful nuggets and move the hell on. Dwelling doesn’t help much.
I should know.
Big Rube, a wordsmith from The Dungeon Family, an Atlanta-based hip-hop collective, lends his mediative wisdom, like only a big brother can — with sincerity, clarity and truth. And notably, The Internet decided to keep the Hive Mind, their latest record, almost feature free.
Big grabs the mic and goes on:
“The past is fleeting, the future
A promise, present keeping us moving forward
With hope we seek true happiness
Throughout our lives with
Trials we face bring pain and sorrow, but resistance is sires strength
The easy path rarely leads to what our heart truly desires
In this life we must face many a worthy challenge for the outcome to satisfy us
To win in spite of struggle implies much greater magnification
To one’s honor [sic] which I value more than instant-gratification
So believe me when I say that time can heal most any wound
And ease most pain, yet the scars remain ’til the day we lay in tomb
So please know nothing in this moment is the same as a moment ago
Each one that pass is a treasure lost.“
I just hope you learn and acknowledge that it gets better with time.